I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
