This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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