Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he puts the penis in happiness.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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