Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
