Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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