..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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