after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
