I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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