I only kidnapped one of them. chill
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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