Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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