Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
