Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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