Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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