He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
