ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
