Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My hand turned me down
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
