OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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