She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize