I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
