Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Randomize
