And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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