they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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