you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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