these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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