i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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