Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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