I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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