the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She made me pour olive oil on her.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm having to shit out rocks
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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