PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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