I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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