Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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