FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
They took my balls.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
