Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
