Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
