I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
