i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just had sex on a roof
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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