he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
This baby is an asshole
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
