I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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