She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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