I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize