Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
