No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
