Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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