so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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