i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
