My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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