I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
