OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
