I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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