matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We are all done wearing pants today
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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