There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
