your parents love me but you hate me
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
