I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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