I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Congratulations! We have a period
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
