seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
