You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
