i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She needs sedatives and a leash
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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