omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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