Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I wish there were birth control emojis
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
