Sry I called you an 8
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
