i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
