i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
