I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
"it" just moved
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
