i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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