i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
