IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
