There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
