carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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