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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  "Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Haha how much did you smoke

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  4 feet of smokeee!

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving

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• (415): View more from California

  my vag sweat smells like doritos

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched

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