whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
