The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize