I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
