Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
