it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
