wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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