When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
