every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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