I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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