This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
