Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize