I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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