On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
