At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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