I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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