How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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